Joke Contest.

here u can post jokes, or start a contest with a friend or some1 u see on this, if they accept, u make a joke up to tell and then they do and ppl from our forum judge it, and for the contest u have to tell how many votes r maximum (up to 10) and then i will tally them and give the results. the winner will be the days champion and please no more then 1 contest up at a time. i will be monitoring this for some funny jokes, and if u cna in the jokes contest, keep from super short 5 word 1's, and go for the few lines ones if u can. if not, u dont have to, so i guess all thats left to say is... ENJOY!

nice vince picture u got der awesome hes crazy in final fantasy hes da best he would so own cloud in a fight dats all though just wanted to say somethin bout ur picture

CMON GUYS TRY AND GET SOME JOKES GOIN!!!

Knock Knock....

meant like longer jokes where nobodys gotta answer too, ones like:

a guy walks into a bar and meets a blonde. they start talking and all of a sudden the six o clock news comes on and it says a guy is gonna jump off of the building. so the guy bets the woman 50$ that he will jump, and she says that he wont. a couple minutes later the guy jumps, and before the blonde gives him the money, he says "i cant accept ur money." and she asks "why?" so he replies "i cheated, i watched the 3 o clock news and already knew he was gonna jump." so she says "oh, i watched that too, but i didnt think he was gonna jump again!"

Okay, so there is a new bar opening. A guy puts on an announcement saying that whoever gives the best name for my bar, gets 2 beers, 1 today and 1 tomorrow. So, this guy walks up to him and says, "How about The Keg?" Bar owner says, "Too original." Another guy walks up to him and says, "How 'bout Teddies?" Bar owner says, "This aint a children's place!" So a homeless guy walk up to the bar owner and asks, "What's you wife's name?" The bar owner says, "Lily." Homeless guy asks one again, "What is your favorite part of her body?" Bar owner says, "Her legs." The homeless guy says, "How 'bout Lily's Legs as a bar name?" The bar owner says, "That aint half bad!" So the homeless guy walks out of the bar when it closes with the beer he got that day. He hangs around the bar waiting for tomorrow to come for his other beer. So police patrol comes by and asks, "What are you doing out here by this bar? Waiting to steal something?" The homeless guy answered, "No, I am waiting to get a drink from Lily's Legs."

lol that 1 was hilarious, tell me if u wanna make it a contest between me and u, and how many votes u wanna make it to if u want to, cause the we can see whos was funnier to other ppl.

Lol I guess. I gotta search deep in my memory to find em =P Some of them are racist, (not that I am,) so I won't post them as people may be offended.

yeah same here, neway heres a joke i heard from my friend :

okay, a priest, a scientist, a little kid, and a doctor go on a plane together. but then halfway through the flight the plane starts to crash and there is only 4 parachutes, and 5 ppl (counting the captain). the captain comes to where the escape hatch is, and says "i drove this plane, so i should get to live" and then juumps off. then the doctor comes up and says "i have saved ppls lives, so i should get to live" , and then jumps off. The priest says he is content with his life and will stay. then the scientist says "sry kid, but i am the smartest man in the world, and ur just a kid" and jumps. the priest says "well, i guess we're both gonna die because he jumped off with the last parachute." the kid replies "hes not that smart, he just jumped off with my school backpack" and then he jumps with the last parachute.

A beautiful young blond woman boards a plane to LA with a ticket for the coach section. She looks at the seats in coach and then looks ahead to the first class seats. Seeing that the first class seats appear to be much larger and more comfortable, she moves forward to the last empty one. The flight attendant checks her ticket and tells the woman that her seat is in coach.
The blond replies, "I'm young, blond and beautiful, and I'm going to sit here all the way to LA."

Flustered, the flight attendant goes to the cockpit and informs the captain of the blond problem. The captain goes back and tells the woman that her assigned seat is in coach.

Again, the blond replies, "I'm young, blond and beautiful, and I'm going to sit here all the way to LA."

The captain doesn't want to cause a commotion, and so returns to the cockpit to discuss the blond with the co-pilot. The co-pilot says that he has a blond girlfriend, and that he can take care of the problem. He then goes back and briefly whispers something into the blonde's ear.

She immediately gets up, says, "Thank you so much," hugs the co-pilot, and rushes back to her seat in the coach section. The pilot and flight attendant, who were watching with rapt attention, together ask the co-pilot what he had said to the woman.

He replies, "I just told her that the first class section isn't going to LA."

lol nice

Omg both of yours were good. 'Kay check this out!

There is this guy who spots a little girl in the mall. He says, "Are you lost?" The little girl says, "Yeah, I think so." The man says, "Alright, bye." The little girl responds, "Can I come home with you?" The man bluntly said, "No." The girl said, "If you don't let me come home with you, I'll scream!" So the man said, "Alright, alright! Just don't scream!"

They get to his apartment. He said, "Stay out here, I'm taking a shower." She said, "Can I come in?" He briefly replied, "No." She said, "If you don't let me in the shower with you, I'll scream!" The man answered, "Alright, alright, I'll let you in, just don't look down!" A few minutes later, he strips down and goes into the shower. The girl looked down and said, "What is that?" The man replied, "I thought I told you not to look! Geez, it's my dolly."

So when the man got ready for bed, he said to the little girl, "You sleep on the floor, and I'll sleep on the bed." She said, "Can I sleep with you?" He irritatingly said, "No." She yawned while saying, "If you don't let me sleep with you, I'll scream!" So the man said, "Alright, alright! For heavens sake you are one weird child!" The little girl smiled.

The man wakes up the next morning and screamed at the top of his lungs! He yells, "What the f*** did you do?!?!" The little girl said, "I was playing with your dolly, then it spat at me, so I bit it's head off."

ok ok i got one: theres a blonde,brunette,and a redhead in a army training place. the redhead says, "Tornado!" and the soldiers duck. then she runs off. the brunette says, "Hurricane!" and the soldiers duck. then she runs off. the blonde says, "Fire!" Bam! ok it might be a little corny..............

lol creeds registrate, that was so f****** funny!

does ANYONE THINK MY JOKE WAS AT LEAST DECENT????

kikashi234 wrote:ok ok i got one: theres a blonde,brunette,and a redhead in a army training place. the redhead says, "Tornado!" and the soldiers duck. then she runs off. the brunette says, "Hurricane!" and the soldiers duck. then she runs off. the blonde says, "Fire!" Bam! ok it might be a little corny..............

It is funny but this is my version.

There is a plane crash and a blonde, brunette and a red-head survive. They are on an island with a native tribe they are un-aware about. So when the native tribe confronts these 3 women with slingshots, spears and stone-throwing-knives, the brunette says, "Tornado!" The tribe looks away to see if there is one and by the time they look back, the brunette is gone. The red-head then says, "Tsunami!" The tribe runs to the nearest trees and holds them with all their might. Then they look at the ocean to see nothing but calm waves. Then the blonde caught on how the red-head and brunette ecscaped, so she said, "Fire!" And then slingshot pebbles, spears and stone-throwing-knives went flying this way and that only to leave a dead blonde in the middle.

Poor dumb blondes : (.

ha ha....it looks like ur : ( has a mole under it's mouth....lol

YOURMOMTHABOMB: Lol Thanks!

here's a good blonde joke...

a blonde, brunette, and redhead are lost on an island and captured by cannibals. the cannibals give them these instructions: go inot the forest and pick ten of 1 kind of fruit. the redhead comes back with 10 apples, the cannibals then say: "now shove them all up your butt without making any expression at all." "1...2......3...OWWW!!!" so they throw the redhead in a cage. next the brunette comes back with 10 grapes, same thing happens, "1,2,3,4,5...6...7...8.....9....HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!" and she is also thrown in the cage. "why'd you laugh right then?" asked the redhead, "you coulda escaped!" "i know" says the brunette, " but i saw the blonde coming back with pineapples!!!"

lol that's gotta hurt.


norwegian joke(sry for offense):
a female norwegian swimmer took part in a breaststroke race along with a swede and an english woman.the norwegian came in dead last by several minutes. when questioned about the loss, she remaked: "Vell, if you ask me, i tink those vemen over der used there arms!"

wow strong women these days...

Lol I love the blonde joke. told it to everyone at school.

Update: Sorry for bad spelling. Bad spelling day that day.. Lol! And that is saying alot, because I was top 100 in the spelling bee

I got 2 blonde jokes:

Question: What is the difference between a rooster and a blonde?

Answer: A rooster says, "Cock-a-doodle-doo!," and a blonde chick says, "Any-cock'll-doo!"

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Question: What does a tornado and a blonde chick have in common?

Answer: They both suck and blow!

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Update: Sorry if these jokes are a little bit immature/gross/disgusting. If they bother you, just say so. I wouldn't want to make ya guys uncomfortable lol. Omg I feel like an idiot.

dont be, they're funny and totally appropriate for our age group (unless theres some 11 or 10 yr old on this forum)

i wouldn't be supreised if there was, but according to profiles, everyone here is at least 13, so continue

im 15 lol


YOURMOMTHABOMB:

Cool lol. Kinda never would have guessed...

Coolio, lol.

Here's one:

Your mom is so disgusting that when you ask what's for dinner, she opens up her legs and says, "Crabs!"

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Here is another:

Are your parents retarded? Because you seem special.

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Last 1:

Are you a piece of paper, girl? 'Cuz you got some FINE print! Lol.